Two More Rules

I liked your Three Rules, but what about losing weight? I noticed from your photos that you were heavier at one time and not now.


Dear Blimpie,

You’re right, I’m fifty pounds lighter now than I was at my top weight, and I’ve been this size for about twenty years. The three rules have been enough for some of my friends to lose whatever extra weight they wanted to lose, but if they’re not enough for you, here are two more rules that will do the trick.

Don’t feed Santa: Like, skip the sweets.

Free your inner pig: Wild pigs are lean and mean because no one is fattening them up for slaughter with grains and other starchy foods.

All of that being said, I don’t think that losing weight is necessarily heroic. What’s heroic is to appreciate the precious miracle that you are, and to ignore Hollywood, Madison Avenue, and any critical friends, relatives and associates that might opine otherwise.