image stolen from the always wonderful Is Richmond Burning?
And because I just can’t resist the temptation to turn my blog into a cheesy women’s magazine feature, here’s a bonus quiz! Find out just how much Christmas you can handle!
Give yourself one point for each thing you do during the Christmas season, then see how you score!
1. Hang Christmas lights outside.
2. Order Personalized Christmas Cards
3. Have over 100 family photos printed
4. Compose Annual Christmas Letter.
5. Create laser printer labels, complete with year, for the back of the photos.
6. Buy and wrap all of the presents your family will give this year.
7. Don’t forget the kid’s teachers, the mailman, your pastor (if any), and your spouse’s secretary.
8. Buy two sets of Christmas stamps, religious (see minister above) plus snowflake so your heathen friends won’t be offended. By the stamp. On your holiday card.
9. Buy 18 snowflake pencils and sets of three snowman and Santa stickers for goodie bags for your child’s school Christmas party.
10. Bake Cookies for the Parent Appreciation (?) Lunch at Cub Scouts.
Now score yourself:
7-10 points – Well, congratu-f-ing-lations, you put Mrs. Claus to shame, ya elfin beeyotch!
4-6 points – Screw the black box warning: you need Prozac, in the limited edition red and green capsules!
1-3 points – Thanks for putting up the outside lights, honey.
Zero points – No offense, but you think you’ll keep her, huh? Asshole.
Alicia Bay Laurel 